Everything I Tell You is Hearsay

i become unusually attached to inanimate objects. i name my cars, cameras, computers, toys, housewares, and pretty much everything else that will sit still for it. i suppose it’s an expression of how happy i am to own things. i like owning things. for some reason it still feels novel and deeply satisfying, though i’ve been doing it for years.

some things surpass this general fondness and achieve a degree of importance that is often a source of some good-natured ribbing. i had a car some years ago that i was irrationally attached to. Datsy was fun to drive, and trusty in her way, but i BLUBBERED when i had to let go of this car (a car, mind you i had not driven in months, but still loved unequivocally)

i also feel this way about my blankie. oddly, the blankie doesn’t have a name, but i probably own nothing i care about more. i’ve had it since i was 15 and have dragged it along on every vacation, slept with it most nights of my life since that time, and determined that if we have had sex, but not on or under my blankie, it simply does not count.

of a slightly different ilk are my tarot cards. i believe (think of me what you will) that they have a life of their own. and, much like many other possessions of mine, i’d had them for a long while. longer than hodie has been alive, for certain. then, earlier this year, i managed to leave them somewhere i ought not have, and they were warped, torn, and utterly ruined. i felt the loss of them keenly and experienced pangs of guilt that still havent completely subsided. replacing them was difficult and painful, though ultimately a wonderful success, but i still had to find a way to bid farewell to something that had been an important part of my life for well over a decade.

the only thing that made sense was to burn them. i could in no way simply throw them in the trash; it would be utterly disrespectful. i wanted to take them to the ocean, where i am happiest, where they have gone with me so many times before,  and say my goodbyes there. and so, i loaded a bottle of wine, some firewood, and a cohort along for the ride. also, my blankie.

the day was grey, but warm and windless. we were tucked back into the cove as the day grew dim. the fire was built and tended by my compatriot, for though i have many skills, firemaking is definitely not among them. dinner was simple but satisfying; white nectarines, pita with garlic hummus, wine country chicken salad, and a bottle of vigonier; i wanted to provide all of the pleasures i could at this particular wake.

and then as true night fell, i sat before the fire with each card in my hand, thinking about times in the past when i had drawn them; the tower when i met one of the most important people i have ever known, strength when mine was failing, the 9 of wands when speed was of the essence. the 10 of cups i saved for last. i held it in hand and thought about it’s implications; happiness is says.and so it was. then it was cast into the fire.

it is never easy for me to let go. objects and people alike are hard to relinquish. i weep when i must say goodbye. but though it was hard to do, i think it was the best possible way to bid farewell.

it was a good day for my reader…

these gems…

and

for the tech impaired

and finally, for the selfless among us…

Atheists who’ll take in your pets after the Rapture

i am in possession of an adolescent girlchild, and so is that one guy. one of these girlchildren lives on the east coast, and she when realizing that her visit here to see her father would bring her within striking distance of Forks, WA caused us to be subject to some clamor related to Twilight. then my child heard the clamor and exponentiated it. so.

the first thing i would like to say is that we knew, and WARNED THE CHILDREN, that there was not going to be a whole lot of rockin’ vampire action up yonder. that it was going to be a lot of driving to essentially see some signs. and in the grand tradition of the obsessed fan, they patently did not give a fuck. when i said:

“you realize, that pretty much, we are going to drive 5 hours to look at a sign that says ‘Welcome to Forks’ and not a whole lot else?”

they were like, bring. it. on. and that is what we did.

we drove 6 hours and all we got was this forking picture

it turned out however, that there was more to Forks than i had anticipated. namely; the most excellent chinese food i have had in many a long year. this seems odd to me. that a tiny town on the Olympic peninsula renowned for rain & vampires is going to have the best chow mien i have ever put in my mouth. happy little surprises are everywhere, no?

there were no chopsticks. i think it might violate the town charter or something

we had wavered on La Push, but we were ahead of schedule and it wasn’t as far as it looked on the map. this ended up being one of the best parts of the trip to my mind. we love the ocean, the light was golden and diffuse, and we had a very lovely time together there. right up til Cynthia and i found the singlemost offensive outhouse in the history of outhouses. seriously.

my three favorite people

and what could top this experience? what could possibly make it EVEN BETTER?? fuckin’ soft serve my bitches. we passed the quintessential purveyor of such treats on our way down into La Push. the diner had a sign out front declaring it on the treaty line, so another photo op was inevitable. might as well score some ice cream while we’re at it, right?

back on the road, we wound our way around the peninsula toward Port Angeles. it was the dimming of the day and the children got rather quiet. the road was very twisty and bordered a lake of breathtaking beauty. i was feeling incredibly happy to be on this trip with these people. i turned to gaze affectionately at one of these people and realized she was about to hurl.

Hodie gets carsick. so CLEARLY the thing to do was fill her full of chinese food & soft serve and then drive down some windy ass roads for an hour or so. this, it turns out is a great recipe for vomit! when i realized she was about to spew, i gently suggested we pull over. i did so by saying:

“pulloverpulloverpulloverpulloverpullover”

to his credit, our driver did so with complete alacrity and judicious haste. it actually worked out great cause i had really wanted to get some photos of crescent lake anyway…

me and that one guy

so scenic, it hurts my eeeeeeeeyyyyyes

so. we finish our lakeside breather and i supply Hodie with a plastic bag. i say:

“if you need to hurl, say something, but if you don’t make it, use this.”

off we go.

i keep checking on her periodically, and it seems the fresh air and moments of stillness have done the trick. i slip back into complacent enjoyment of the scenery when i smell that smell. you know the one…

we pull over again to dispose of the expulsion. Hodie is chagrined. she turns to Cynthia…

“i’m really sorry. it sucks to have to ride in the car with throwup”

“eh,” Cynthia replies “i have 5 brothers and sisters, and we can NEVER ride in the car without someone throwing up or peeing in the car.”

“yeah, but i managed both.”

pardon??

turns out, Hodie had to go. and with (perhaps because of) the giant Taco Time soda cup from earlier that day, managed to relieve herself while we were driving and then dispose of the contents WITHOUT ANYONE NOTICING. i admit. this is partially my doing. once upon a time we had an hourlong commute every weekend back and forth from her dad’s house. and when she was younger, bladder control was not so much in her repertoire. i trained her to manage the problem while on the move so as to avoid wetting herself or my upholstery. apparently, it is a lesson she has learned even better than i knew. i was deeply impressed with her stealth and there were high fives all around.

then there was camping. you know, fire, tent, the whole bit. i actually bothered to put on the rain fly and everything! and this turned out to be wise.

what WAS NOT perhaps so wise was leaving out our shoes, and cloth chairs, and (in my case) expensive vacation cigarettes. turns out, sometimes, it actually RAINS around there! in the RAINFOREST!! can you IMAGINE??

next morning, we were damp, but determined. there was a hot springs nearby and by all that is holy, we were going to be a-soakin in it! i had been trying to get up to this particular spot for a couple of years, so i was very excited to be finally realizing this ambition, despite the mewlings of my child about how much it sucked to walk in the rain.

it was 2 1/2 miles of easy strolling over a mostly paved path. there was some scrambling over a creek in a spot or two, but anyone with a 1/2 decent mountain bike could get back to the springs in about 10 minutes. as it was, we needed about 45 minutes all told to reach them.

our glorious reward for hiking in the rain.

coming back was a little tougher. we had wet feet. and wet shoes. and wet clothes. and a wet 10 year old who can lag significantly behind when it pleases her to do so. i’ve come to accept the best way to handle this is to just carry her. i hadn’t been to the gym in a few days, so i figured it was a fair way to make up for that while getting us back to the car double quick. this however, did not suffice for feats of strength… oh no, it did not.

and it isnt even Festivus!

after all of this, i couldn’t be the pony anymore. but SOMEBODY had to do it.

his horsey noises are way better than mine anyway

we finally arrived back at the parking lot; damp, hungry, smelling like devilled egss, but ultimately triumphant. Hodie remarked how great hiking was for making you appreciate the simple pleasures in life;

“i am pretty sure i have never enjoyed sitting in the car quite so much as i am enjoying sitting in the car right now. i am not getting rained on. i am not moving. my feet don’t hurt. i freaking love sitting in this car!”

profound, my child.

we are wet and crooked but happy

we decided that after this, we were camping in a fucking hotel. there was a laundrymat. there was a shower. it was the height of luxury. we did also have dinner in a very nice restaurant called the Queen City Grill. we sort of stumbled across it after wandering around Belltown & Pikes Market for a while trying to find a place that a) would let kids in and b) had something my kid was willing to eat. she had a Kobe Beef Hamburger but the waiter thought she was a boy. kind of a mixed bag for Hodie.

next day was Seattle-tourist-o-rama. we went to the space needle, but i decided $50 for the pleasure of an overblown elevator ride was excessive. instead we went into the Science Fiction Museum and looked at Muppets. it was groovy, but i can’t post any of the photos i took cause apparently it would be copyright infringement. or something.

the outside was the coolest part of this place anyways

after that we rode the monorail, strolled through Pikes Market and then went on the underground tour. all touristed out, we hit I-5 for home.

we missed a few things. we’d meant to see Mt St Helens, but didn’t get back around to it. we also didn’t know that Kalama High School (which was very much along the way) was the building they used in the exterior shots for the Twilight movie. we discovered this when we got to poking around to see what else could be found locally to fill the Twilight shaped hole in Cynthia’s heart. since we missed the school, we stuffed something else in there.

The View Point Inn is where they filmed the prom scene from the movie. it is also an incredibly lovely and charming restaurant just off the scenic highway in the gorge. i have driven past this place COUNTLESS times, and never thought to stop, but it is now one of my top 5 favorite eateries in town.

we had a very tasty and enjoyable meal and Cynthia was able to obtain some additional gee-gaws for her friends. cause it’s not like you can find Twilight merchandise just ANYWHERE…

for anyone who suffers, there is no need to explain the misery associated. for anyone who doesn’t there is simply no way to convey how awful it is.

in my case, i suffer from something called a Hemiplegic Migraine. that means that right before the headache part comes on, one side of my body goes completely numb. it happens to be my left side, and the first time it happened i thought i was having a stroke. my grandfather and more than one uncle died young of cardiovascular disease and had strokes very early in life, so this was not so far-fetched as it might seem at first blush.

while the numbness itself does not cause undue discomfort, it does tend to send me into something of a panic knowing what it heralds. i have learned however to be grateful for it in that sometimes, on very lucky days, if i take medicine RIGHT when i go numb, it can forestall the onset of a full-blown migraine and just leave me with a low-grade but tolerably terrible headache.

the last time i had one, as i lay there with towel wrapped around my head for darkness, earplugs and fan for quiet, medicine not having done it’s magic,  i thought about all the various folk remedies that have been suggested down the years to try and prevent or treat migraine and thought it would be interesting and somewhat amusing to list a few…

Fresh Cut Green Apple: i got this one from my mother, who also suffers. she never gets to the super awful headache stage, but she does have the numbness part. she claims if you cut open a green apple and hold it close to your face and inhale the scent, it can help ward off the headache. migraine vs aromatherapy? i’m skeptical. i’ve never tried it. i don’t usually have green apples lying around, and cutting anything open when i’m pre-migraine seems like a bad idea since the temptation would likely be to plunge the knife into my own eye to put myself out of my misery. seems best to keep away from sharp objects…

Hot Feet, Cold Head: this one comes via my friend Stephanie who suffers migraines at least as frequently as i do, and suggested the medication that (sometimes) staves off the full-blown monster. She mentioned that putting your feet in hot water and an ice pack on your head helps contract the capillaries in your head while dialating them in your feet. it helps divert blood flow that would otherwise increase the intensity of the headache. i’ve had reasonable success with this tactic. though usually it just takes the edge off rather than curing it altogether.

Lean, Mean, Caffiene: this is a well-documented way to combat headache in general. the stimulant helps dilate those pesky contricted blood vessels and relieve the pressure causing the pain. of course, i am not a fan of most caffienated beverages and so this one has always been a bit tough on me. i’ve taken to keeping caffiene pills around for the purpose so i dont have to try to choke down a mocha when my head is pounding.

A More Unorthodox Approach: turns out the human body is itself quite a remarkable little pharmacological factory. and one of the substances the body produces that has both a pain-relieving and calming effect is a hormone called Oxytocin. this hormone is released during two related but distinct experiences: orgasm and direct nipple stimulation (as would be produced during breastfeeding). so. i heard somewhere there were studies (STUDIES!! it MUST BE TRUE!!) which indicated that oxytocin could be very effective in helping relieve migraine. and though the onset of a migraine is not exactly my idea of sexytime, i have tried this method and had excellent results. far better than any other remedy i’ve tried. suddenly  “honey i have a headache”  turns out to be a come on…

wondering if anyone else has any remedies that have worked for them over the years? i’m willing to try most anything (obviously) so if you have any suggestions, they would be most welcome!

but it’s a good thing. livingston has been sitting untended all too long. been plucking away at him a bit lately. i forget how good it is for me.

i can’t remember the last time i wrote a song though…

i’m practicing for an open mic night on wednesday. which is the most ambtious thing i’ve done in some time. i mean hell, you should see the state of my bedroom.

courage is at an ebb. but the sky was aflame tonight as i made my way home. the sherbert colors in the vault bright with promise.

that expectations might be abandoned, truths thought known will be recognized as nothing more than hopeful hunches. roles redrawn, wisdom reexamined. all things taken on faith to be viewed with new skepticism, while things previously accepted only with tactile proof, now embraced without the evidence of the senses.

and perhaps in the interstices there is room for contentment, though i have yet to sense it there.

the light in the sky makes it easier to believe.