[dis-fawr-ee-uh, -fohr-] 

noun .

1) a state of unease, sadness, or distress. 
Antonym: euphoria
Derived from the  Greek root, dusphori, distress, from dusphoros, hard to bear
And so it is, at times, that despite the golden days that melt away, and all that is well besides, a darkness limned with Mercury; alluring and poisonous; descends upon me. 
This despite medicaments, and strategies, structures carefully crafted and the palpable love of those drawn near to me… I am consumed.
What solace I was accustomed to find, my fingers pressed to produce the finest balm I had yet found, has been denied me by thieves; those who would take without regard for consequence.
So, then my most earnest wish to flee. To exhaust myself in solitude and to find strange places to sit on my feet and breathe. To deny the broken windows and in defiance of the deepening trench.
But, I cannot outpace the dimming. I take it with me wherever I may run. Better, instead to set alight a fire to cast the shadows away from me, thereby.