[ri-myoo-ner-uh-tiv]

adjective

1. affording remuneration; profitable: remunerative work.

2. that remunerates.

“When we talk on the phone, I can’t right click on words to find out what they mean…”

On this Ash Wednesday, I’m repenting of any number of things, of both sacred consideration and mundane. It has become clear to me that I am doing much that does not best profit me; and for this, I most ardently repent.

How then, to redraw the lines of focus and application such that this might change… Ah, the perennial question, that.

 Knowing, as I do, that to expect different results all the while repeating the same patterns is madness defined, I am changing. What, how, and when I eat, along with the quantity and quality of food, sleep, and sweat are all under scrutiny and cultivation. The pursuit of educational designation to increase viability in the grown-person-full-time job market accompanies these efforts at a more personal increase in quality of life.

Also undergoing revision is the manner in which I consult myself about what is not working. I’ve started talking to myself in a variety of new ways about the things I repent. I’m not entirely sure it’s all that helpful, but at least it passes the time. Occasionally, I’ll surprise myself when I ask the gentle probing questions I would pose to a friend.

Pardon me, what was that?

 It feels like a lot to take on, this project of rebuilding myself from the ground up, but I’m out of ideas about what else I might try. The constant frustration and disappointment under the current administration does not warrant re-election on any account. I should repent of it, ever after.