[suh-ren-der]

verb (used with object)

1. to yield (something) to the possession or power of another; deliver up possession of on demand or under duress: to surrender the fort to the enemy; to surrender the stolen goods to the police.

2. to give (oneself) up, as to the police.

3. to give (oneself) up to some influence, course, emotion, etc.: He surrendered himself to a life of hardship.

4. to give up, abandon, or relinquish (comfort, hope, etc.).

5. to yield or resign (an office, privilege, etc.) in favor of another.

verb (used without object)

6. to give oneself up, as into the power of another; submit or yield.

noun

7. the act or an instance of surrendering.

8. Insurance. the voluntary abandonment of a life-insurance policy by the owner for any of its non-forfeiture values.

9. the deed by which a legal surrendering is made.

 

They just seem a little weird

 

It’s one of those times when, after fighting for so long, it’s hard to recall whatever caused me to start. Taking the larger view and doing a thorough cost/benefit analysis has essentially driven me to conclude it is time to give up.

I mean this not only in terms of a very specific course of action, but also in the much more overarching sense. I am wired in such a way as to find the idea of relinquishing control extremely unpalatable. However, if I’m perfectly honest with myself (which is difficult to varying degrees given topic, time, and temperament) I’m forced to admit what anyone with a lick of sense already knows; control is an illusion and as Richard Bach has already told us, it takes a messiah to be truly able to manipulate illusions successfully. Since I am unquestionably pre-messiah at this stage, it’s time to try another approach.

So, I’m going to try a different tack; that of submission, that of acceptance, that of acquiescence. It is simultaneously terror-inducing and completely liberating, to capitulate in this way. Fear only of the untried, not serving any rational end; it is not as though my time-tested methods are so effective that I should cling to them with devotion. Quite the opposite.

Hoist away

I hereby yield, cry uncle, and succumb.