[ per-sev-uh-reyt ]

verb (used without object)

1. to repeat something insistently or redundantly: to perseverate in reminding children of their responsibilities.


It has been years. Near twice as long as we knew one another. There is nothing to justify the lingering regret and persistent longing.

Only that it seemed, at the time, to be everything I wanted. Only that I believed something magical had occurred. Only that I had never – and still have not – known anyone so utterly beautiful and wholly irresistible. Only that for a time, at least, he claimed to love me. Only that it seemed impossible.

And, after all, it was.

That is what I really can’t get over. How foolish, credulous, and faithful I was on the very slimmest provocation. How by fulfilling the archetype and being well beyond my grasp, I was dazzled to ignore all the ways it truly was.

Now, my eyes wide, I see nothing to lure such willful blindness. No temptation to ignore the wise whispered warning inside me. Nothing to overwhelm my senses and thereby, my sense.

I am so safe.
And disappointed.
Dwelling upon the gorgeous, decrepit, memory of a dream.