[ma-leyz, -muh-; French ma–lez] 

noun

  1. A condition of general bodily weakness or discomfort, often marking the onset of a disease.
  2. A vague or unfocused feeling of mental uneasiness, lethargy, or discomfort.

 

Rather than vague I’d use the term indistinct. It isn’t so much that the feeling is subtle or elusive as it is all encompassing and impossible to attribute to one cause only. It is clear beyond doubt that there are ongoing and tangible causes for this pall set over the landscape, but it lately the hope it might be temporary fails to dispel the gloom in any durable way.

Most of all I am weary of being unwell. I feel robbed of my vigor and hobbled by this unknown affliction. Every task seems harder and I am amazed at all I was once able to do so readily without a bare second thought.

Seeking answers has become a persistent occupation, though one which has yielded little meaningful result. Down several organs with no substantial relief, I am back into the fray; set to be prodded, poked, questioned, and laid quite bare. Mayhap I had more energy, I could rise to indignance. As it is, all I have is faint and ragged hope.