Daily weight – 153.7

Okay, so clearly, the first weigh in was the fluke, since I’ve gotten essentially the same number twice in a row. Good to know. 

This morning I was determined to make a better run at breakfast. I pulled out eggs, salsa, and a head of lettuce. I was imagining a healthy breakfast burritoesque thingy. I scrambled the eggs with a dollop of salsa, and tried in vain to peel a leaf off of the head without it shredding into 4-5 much smaller sub-burrito sized pieces. To no avail. 

What I ended up with was a bowl with lettuce, and salsa-scrambled eggs in it. I also made the mistake of using sesame oil to cook with, and it tasted… weird and not great. I had about 5 bites before I gave up. Ah well, I don’t really like eating that much in the morning, anyway. 

Feeling smug, I opened Noom to log what was – I was sure – a SUPER healthy and green breakfast choice. Cue sad trombone noise…

Wait, whut? I always thought eggs were supposed to be a GREAT diet food, what with being all protein heavy and low in calories? Then I recalled a lesson from my first day that talked about how the density of the food is critical in this weighing mechanism (rimshot) A hard boiled egg, for example, is a green food, but scrambled is yellow, because the method of preparation impacts the density of the food and the degree of satiety a person will experience eating it. That’s great to know, but not super helpful in this context since there’s no way I’m gonna eat a hard boiled egg unless it is also a deviled egg, which in this case would be counterproductive. 

I digress…

Fine. I regroup and carry on. 

It’s time for my lesson, which today is about the types of eating.  Fuel vs Fun. Do you eat to live or live to eat? Well, it’s complicated. Once upon a time it was absolutely the former. I still have a strong sense that were it an option, I would give up eating altogether in favor of sustenance pills. When Soylent came out a few years ago, I was genuinely excited about the possibility of enjoying a post-food existence. 

But, since my hysterectomy, hormonal changes have really impacted my relationship with food. I suffer from cravings in a way that simply never used to be the case. Sweets have become a huge focus. In the past, I’d have candy every now and then, on a whim. For a while now, it would be an odd day that I DIDN’T have some kind of sweets. Over the last year, I can’t even count the number of times I would find myself in the car on the way to the mini-mart on the way to buy some Lifesavers Gummi Collusions*. Or a Big Hunk. Or, more usually, both. 

Even after I started to consciously realize what an unhealthy habit this was, I found it INCREDIBLY difficult to stop. I would make bargains with myself about how many days a week this was acceptable. Which is itself is kinda nuts. 

So when Noom asked me whether I was a “fuel” or “fun” eater, I realized the answer wasn’t the one I would have made 5 years ago. Weight loss with a side of Self-revelation!  

I progressed through a series of vignettes about the types of eating that are most common

 

Right, and don’t forget fog-storm eating… Where you’re mindlessly eating even though you’re already full and can’t stop. 

But the beauty of Noom is that while I thought I knew what was coming next, Instead I get:

 

If I hadn’t already been sold on this program, that right there would have done the trick.

Okay, then. Check off one kind of eating I’m not doing!

For a snack later in the morning I have a couple of trusty white cheddar popped rice cakey things. These are green. Woot. Lunch consists of a leaf of lettuce – carefully extracted, but still mangled – in which is rolled a pickle spear, 3 slices of roast beef, and some A-1. I skipped mayo and bread, making this little package a slim 308 instead of what would have been 600+ made conventionally. 

I decided to poke around in the recipe tab for ideas about dinner. I noticed a fair number of asian choices, and had a craving for Tom Kha. I looked up a slow-cooker recipe and was happy to see it only came to about 265 per cup. Made a big ol pot of that. Crunched down a couple more rice cakes and a sugar free pudding. 

Ended the day about 300 calories under budget, which felt like a triumph, but I do know there are diminishing returns at some point. Though generally fewer calories are good, one doesn’t want to stray into the territory where the body starts to think you’re in a famine and hoards those fat cells at all costs. Nobody wants that…

 

*The first time I bought these, I TRULY thought they said “collusions” rather than “collisions” Infer what you will about the times we live in.