Everything I Tell You is Hearsay

 

I’m just making random observations about my life. Sometimes I try to be funny (to varying degrees of success) other times I am trying to be all serious and profound. Sometimes I forget which.

Or something.

For the uninitiated:

Zelda = My newest car. 2015 Jetta. Trusty, if not imbued with much personality. She gets me where I’m going, and uses less gas doing it. I am a fan. If only she were a wagon/hatchback, we could probably be together for a long time. As it stands, I have a wandering eye, WRT cars. And, every other way too. 

Quincy = my old new car. Like actually legitimately new. He had 13 miles on when I bought him. 2014 Dodge Journey. Technically considered a “sport-wagon” he is in all but name a minivan. Seats 7 in three rows and probably more appropriate for someone with way more children than I have. Amazing cargo capacity and gas mileage; a triumph of practicality over cool. 

Koko = my older car. 2001 Volkswagen Beetle. Originally I called her Svanja which means “swan” in Deutch. Then I realized this was far too froofy and unlike her. She is more of a disco ball, really. Or, a coconut. She has helped me reclaim my farfegnugen.

Colgate = my older old car. 1991 Subaru station wagon. Named because he is toothpaste colored.

Hodie = my kid. Est. 1999. We do not mention her by name because we feel that reveals too much and creates a web-presence for her without her specific intent. We don’t like that idea much. We don’t know why we suddenly began referring to ourselves in the 3rd person plural. We thought it was a good idea at the time.

In this vein, I will sometimes refer to someone by an acronym or nickname to protect their privacy, but these tactics are usually pretty transparent and anyone who knows me knows exactly who I’m talking about.

I am often oblique about specific things. Or specific about oblique things. Either way, if you think I am talking about you, but I haven’t said so specifically to you, you are almost certainly wrong. When in doubt, assume… not.

If you happen to find what I say amusing or interesting or profound I’d love for you to say so. It’s gratifying. and that way I don’t feel like all this creative energy is just dissipating into the ether. If you have a question or desire clarification, please do the same. I am an open book. Or, an open screen… as the case may be.

 

So, then…