if someone could see inside my darkest nightmares, this is what they might see:

Flesh-eating fish give pedicures

remember when i mentioned my fear of fish

well. it turns out IT IS HEREBY VINDICATED AND ETERNALLY JUSTIFIED. because, you see, fish DO want to eat you. they just usually cant. but these morons not only LET the fishes feast on their toeses, but they PAY for the privilege. holy mother of god, no. i mean forget masquerading waterboarding as “enhanced interrogation methods” this is torment couched as a beauty treatment*!

i had to change the channel before the segment was over so great was my panic and disgust. yet another sound reason to avoid Good Morning America

*in the interest of full-disclosure, some people claim to like this shit. these people are crazy and should be sterilized so as to keep that brand of crazy out of the gene pool.