Everything I Tell You is Hearsay

turns out, with practice, i can be reasonably good at stuff!!

i have been experiencing a crisis of skill because i hang out way too much with someone who is good at every goddamn thing he tries. there is nothing less fun than being mediocre at something when your companion is always extra-strength good at it. no matter what it is. i think i could probably beat him at lactating, but you never know with him…

for christmas TBIL bought me a shiny new bowling ball, shoes, and a snazzy ball sack. this weekend i took this show on the road and did some bowling; turns out, i am not half bad!

bowling alley meets Metropolis

i rolled 7 games on saturday and then another 5 on sunday. i beat my personal best twice in this time-span. there was some gleeful hopping going on.

also, i went skiing. which, i think i can finally say, after 12 years of loving it, am pretty good at. i skiied down upper bowl. and LIVED! TWICE!! i remember when i first started skiing, looking at those runs and thinking “there is no way in hell i will EVAR be able to get down those fuckers” so, here’s to being wrong!

upper bowl: trails of doom

it was a weekend chock-full of feeling pretty good at stuff. i even managed to impress some snowboarding dudes in Beerstube with my resounding belches.  i can has mad skillz

newly added to the list of things i really like but am not that good at: Golf.

at least i look the part

i went out with my friend Darrin last week and played my first round of big girl golf. up til then it was all par 3’s and pub courses and the driving range.

at the first tee i had a misleadingly good start: swung and connected first thing. ball flew straight and reasonably far. i was all cocky for a minute. then, well, my moment of luck passed, not to be seen again in that round. ah well.

i did really enjoy the scenery. the evening was sunny but cool enough to be pleasant. the greens were lovely. we had some drinks… so the golf cart part was fun. all in all a really nice evening and something i cant wait to do again.

i have the gin & tonic portion of golf DOWN!

in Portland every year there is a fundraiser hosted by Providence Health Systems. it essentially involves all of the bridges across the Willamette being closed or modified to traffic so that the bikers can descend and ride over them. i’ve been meaning to do it for years, but this was the first time it all worked out. TBIL hooked me up with some of his coworkers who were doing the 8 bridge course and we were off.

this process was not only really fun and rewarding, it was instructional. i learned the following things:

• you can appear to have all the trappings of a semi-serious cyclist and still have a gigantic ass
• getting into a traffic jam with bike is just as annoying and actually more scary than in a car
• the more derisively you yell “ON YOUR LEFT” the less i want to move aside
• the sense of superiority you achieve by yelling “ON YOUR LEFT” with such derision is illusory. everyone else thinks you are a fucktard.
• just because an event is hosted by a health care system does not mean first aid will be available when and where you might need it. (poor Gindy)
• riding all the way to the top of the app roach to the St John’s without stopping is ALMOST enough to make me pass out, and IS enough to make me see stars.
  
• there may be no greater pleasure in life than getting OFF one’s bike.
• when you send someone a text that reads “sweet holy baby jesus, my ass hurts” it is helpful if they have the context that you were riding 30 miles on your bike that day because otherwise they might assume you are just mentioning consequences from the party they hosted the previous evening.
  

feeling proud of myself, if still sore and tired. next weekend: climb mountain. time with family. can’t decide which is more daunting…

🙂

it was a wild one, no doubt.

hodie-related drama friday night cut short plans for evening. made it out for shoe admiration and drinks with Lyza but no karaoke. sad.

on the whole, it might have been for the best, since i woke up in the wee hours for my race. it went really well, though it turned out that the swimming was better than i feared, and the running was harder than i’d imagined. i think the momentum of exhaustion just built up. but! i ran the entire course and didn’t wuss out and walk at all. hooray me!

brewfest was less than thrilling. dusy, hot, crowded, and spendy. i saw some peeps i like and heard some juicy gossip, so that was fun anyway. got a bit drunker than planned due to low food intake coupled with heat and alcohol. staggered a little on the way home. designated driver fetched me out for an additional party later that evening. announced my arrival with bellowing belch. as usual.

sunday morning dawned with golf on the agenda. met up with pops and went out to the course and hit some balls at the driving range.

which, being only the second time i ever picked up a club, went pretty well! then i hit a hole in one on a par three. so… strange luck that i have. that was pretty cool. steakburgers after. yum.

after the golf-stravaganza, i went off to ann taylor to get the dress for the wedding i am going to be in come march. it’s GORGEOUS and AWESOME and it was KILLER to walk into ann taylor and a) get to buy something b) put on a size 4 and have it be too big on me. ha. i heart shopping.

mike & les are going back to the mitten state and we had a little farewell feast for them at madison’s last night. drinks and food, wee bit o’ crying on my part because i am a sentimental slob. nice way to say goodbye.

premier of Mad Men was last night and went to Lyza’s to enjoy with wine and her lovely friends. the new motto of the moment is: take off your hat. on behalf of womanhood: thank you, Don Draper. thank you.

on the whole a capital weekend! hoo-rah.

Need specs for all my various personalities: these are the frames they’re comping me. i like to think of this one as “naughty librarian fabulous”

not be be confused with “teachers pet pretty” or “audrey hepburn wannabe”