i do not really actually believe in physics. i mean, i assume that, like religion, since so many people seem to adhere to it, that there must be some level of cosmic underlying truth there despite my inability to see or understand it even in the face of multiple classes and tutors*.

and yet, even with my utter inability to grasp even the most fundamental concepts related to physics, i DO listen to a LOT of NPR**and as a result of this, i have heard quite a bit recently about the Large Hadron Collider and what the scientists there are hoping to achieve and discover. also about the sort of ridiculous but impossible to entirely dismiss crackpot theories about what might happen when and if the LHC actually manages to accomplish what it was created for. Namely, to collide some protons and see what happens. or something.***

all of that has led some people to make some fairly amusing LHC related humor based on the idea that it might:

  • accidentally ‘splode the universe when a WHOLE NOTHER UNIVERSE gets created
  • spontaneously manifest a little baby black hole into which we are all gonna get sucked
  • reach BACK IN TIME and meddle with its OWN ability to succeed. also maybe change election results
  • absolve humanity of the need to continue existing, thereby justifying all sorts of outrageous behavior
  • result in some crackpot scientists/religious types getting way more media attention than they deserve****

and yet, though i barely understand any of this, i have still had a few good laughs on the subject. maybe you will too.


and if by some chance you are interested in a legitimate explaination of what the LHC is really about you can go HERE and read something written by some very nice and no doubt erudite Britisher on the subject.

*i fault my monocular condition for this. i had a neurologist tell me it was no wonder i couldn’t understand physics since i completely lack depth perception and thus am a spatial-reasoning-retard.

** my friend david finds my intimate familiarity with the OPB radio line-up a source of some amusement. he will frequently turn to me at random moments and say “what’s on NPR right now?” or conversely “what will be on at 7pm on sunday?” and chuckle slightly when i am pretty much always able to immediately respond.

***member? not so much with the science here.

**** that one, it happened.