Alright, dammit. I wanted this to go better than it did. I wanted the NEW Grand Central to be a place where I could wander in, bowl, have a drink or two, and generally enjoy the close-in SE location. Alas; it sucks. Ass. Hard.

I have some pretty serious nostalgia for this place for totally retarded but nevertheless compelling reasons. And I could not be more delighted with the rehab the outside of the building has undergone since its closure some years back. However, the choads who handled the inside are fucktards to the max.

The general consensus was that this place looked like someone had turned the Doug Fir into a bowling alley with less character and the most wretched soundtrack ever to have blared out of speakers. In the course of the 2 hours we were there we were subjected to: The Human League (tolerable), Barenaked Ladies (awful), Dave Matthews (unforgivable), Lifehouse (ditto), Blues Traveler (likewise), Devo (fine), Ah-Ha (totally acceptable), and Belinda Carlyle (meh). What moron selected this playlist?? Mother-of-God.

The multi-colored runway lights were annoying, and the giant screens should have been put to use in some better way than providing video accompaniment to aforementioned musical ear-rapine. Like playing “The Big Lebowski” and “Kingpin” on a continuous loop. Which is really the only use they could reasonably be put to.

The bowling was ri-donk-ulously expensive, the service was pushy and over-attentive, the whole “VIP” lounge thing was utterly retarded, and even after all that, the fucking bowling mechanism itself had pretty serious recurring bugs which bit into our hour of bowling enough to cause some of our players to be unable to complete their 10th frame. Weeeeeak.

SO! Its back to the Hollywood Bowl which has a comfortably dive-y feel and karaoke. Fuck you GC. Fuck you in all the way down the alley.

P.S. I did manage to come out with the highest overall score for the evening. :}