I’m Not The Man You Think I Am

Since I invite such speculation, such presumption and it is exhausting to continually dispell people of their misapprehensions, let us make it simple and say, if you are not:

My Mother

That One Guy

The Only Woman I Have Ever Thought Was Smarter Than Me

then, well…

 I’m not the man you think I am.

I didn’t know what a brute I was

dipped my cigarette

and I rode the bus

Vengeance built me hastily

and I dragged the clanging notion I was nobody, nobody

Nobody

All I had was my invention, 

and my love invented all of you

Oh, look what thoughts can do

what thoughts can do.

If you’re not by now dead and buried

you’re most certifiably married

Oh, married

I’m sure you’re sleeping sound

With the mistress of the hours

the hours that grind your life to dust

those easy loves you keep like pets

denied them you are powerless

Whatever keeps you sleeping through the night

I’m not the man you thought I was

my love has never lived indoors

I had to drag it home by force

hired hounds at both my wrists

damp and bruised by stranger’s kisses on my lips

But you’re the one that I still miss

you’re the one that I still miss

and the truth is that it comes as no surprise

I’m not the man you think I am

I’m not the man you think I am