[dis-mey]
verb (used with object)
1. to break down the courage of completely, as by sudden danger or trouble; dishearten thoroughly; daunt: The surprise attack dismayed the enemy.
2. to surprise in such a manner as to disillusion: She was dismayed to learn of their disloyalty.
3. to alarm; perturb: The new law dismayed some of the more conservative politicians.
noun
4. sudden or complete loss of courage; utter disheartenment.
5. sudden disillusionment.
6. agitation of mind; perturbation; alarm.
Just ’cause you feel it, doesn’t mean it’s there.
I am still lingering in the aftermath of a surprising disappointment. It is surprising, in part, because of the duration of the feeling considering the magnitude of the experience that caused it. I’m confused about why I care so much, why I feel it so keenly, and when it will end. I like to think I can talk myself out of it, but absolutely no historical, anecdotal, or experiential evidence supports this hypothesis. Instead, I’ll just go on feeling like I do until I don’t.
Ultimately, it’s probably in my best interest to simply sit with the feeling. To acknowledge it with a gentle and friendly familiarity; we are by no means strangers. To greet it as a guest who will stay as long as it suits, and might teach me something about hospitality, in the meantime.
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