Sometimes my cards speak to me with such clarity. Other times I fail to connect the threads into an intelligible message. This can occasionally be instructive in the sense of needing to focus my attention and study the result more carefully.
More often, it is when it is telling me something I don’t want to hear or don’t feel ready to accept.
This morning feels like one of those times.
It’s unusual enough to pull so many major arcana cards at once, but to have ALL of them be reversed is truly extraordinary. Though there are schools of thought that ignore reversals, I tend to read them as presented. Each of these particular trumps have a lessened but still significant positive meaning in their reversed position. It might be the lens of the particular moment I am in, but I find it hard to trust.
And maybe there’s reason for that. My intuition seems geared only to notice potential harm. Though I am not by nature a pessimist, the radar in my head is unquestionably tuned for picking up danger. Some subconscious pattern recognition process is running at all times. My body knows what it is sensing long before my mind catches up. I am still learning to trust it; not to shout it down when it warns me against something I want to ignore, or discount as paranoia. So far, the warnings that were right still didn’t save me from whatever hurt I was heading for, it just let me suffer in advance, knowing it was coming.
I know I am doing what I ought. I am taking care of myself as best I can. I am moving my body, being still with my soul, and learning to navigate the conversation that occurs in the space between these two efforts. I feel like I have climbed to the precipice of something necessary and dangerous without realizing I was doing so and it is only a matter of time before the fall.
There’s almost certainly nothing I can do about it, except to keep my eyes open on the way down.
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