Jeff Bridges wears a mean kimono.
And that is only one of a multitude of things to love about this film. Despite its utter failure to accurately portray any part of how computers actually function, it’s very fun to look at.
We are treated to a visual feast replete with 80’s-tastic computer graphics galore. Programs are rendered as 1/2 black and white film, 1/2 super fantastic neon suit groovyness. And I must admit, there is something very visually compelling about this combination. Coming to this movie for the first time in 2010, I can say that though I have seen lots of CGI and very sophisticated effects, it was somehow fascinating to see real human faces and forms embedded in this fantasized computer animation.
MEANWHILE BACK IN THE REAL WORLD
We get to see the ENCOM Tron-Copter! When we land, our sub-villian Dillinger/Sark enters his super sleek office wherein is contained the Master Control Program seen here as something that resembles the mutant love-child of an iPad and a dining room table (They Shared A Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name!)
Down in the circle of hell comprised entirely of blue cubicles, Alan Bradley discovers his password has been suspended and he cannot access the system!! He is flustered, but it’s hard to take him seriously since he resembles nothing so much as John Denver should he ever have decided to write a few lines of code instead strumming a few lines of Annie’s Song.
Back up in MCP’s lair, Dillinger tells Bradley not to take it personally, that EVERYBODY lost their access, cause of reasons and stuff. Whenever they talk about anything remotely computer related in this film they may as well be using the following script
Seven! Shoes, unicorn west umbrella.
Cough syrup, yesterday. Mirror catfood!
After this conversation, Bradley is vexed, (who wouldn’t be!) but you don’t really care. He gesticulates wildly at the elevator for no apparent reason, and then you see, what I can honestly say, might just be the MOST WONDERFUL THING IN THE HISTORY OF FILM: he presses a button in the elevator that says simply “Laser Bay” Every elevator should have this button. Even if it leads to the parking lot. I am going to lobby congress.
Once we reach the laser bay, we are introduced to our token crotchety but lovable old man. And what movie is truly complete without that? When Bradley and the girl (her identity is irrelevant; she really just serves as boobs in a unitard) leave ENCOM, they do so in the slightly less glamourous than the tron-copter ENCOM chi-mo van. In which they arrive at Flynn’s Video Arcade/Nightclub.
Out of his kimono and kicking it on the gaming floor, we find Flynn SURROUNDED BY BABES who are all DEEPLY impressed with his hand-eye coordination and video gaming prowess. Because, anyone who knows anything knows, nothing draws the bitches quite like the bleep-bleep-bloop of an arcade game.
We are then treated, for no reason I can quite fathom, to the tableau of Flynn stripping off his pit-stained “Flynn’s” t-shirt so he can change into yet another (but less obviously soiled) “Flynn’s” t-shirt. I suppose the days of Jeff Bridges being a sex symbol are rather in the distant past, mostly, I was just kinda confused…
When they hatch the scheme to break back into ENCOM and redeem all the awesomeness that Flynn wrought upon their asses, they mount up in the chi-mo van and roll on back to the lab. They then encounter what has to be THE LARGEST DOOR IN THE HISTORY OF DOORS. But, it gives them no trouble and they waltz right on in.
MCP gets the gist of Flynn’s attempt to bust into the system pretty quick like (not too surprising, since MCP is a smart fucker; you can tell by his British accent) and turns on him with the best possible response to anyone messin with your shit: A laser. Presumably the one they needed a bay for.
So, Flynn’s warped through pixelated space, in a sequence that was made for people on hallucinogens, and he ends up having to “game for his life” a scenario that millions of nerds are constantly preparing themselves for just in case.
Then we enjoy what is perhaps the cardinal scene in the whole movie: the lightcycle race. Frankly, based on all the trailers, tidbits, and snippets I’ve seen referring to this movie over the years, I always thought this part was much longer, and had a lot more to do with the plot. I thought the WHOLE DIGITAL SEQUENCE was composed of races of ever-increasing intensity and ever rising stakes. Turns out, not.
When they manage to foil their digital captors, all hell breaks loose. Somehow Flynn ends up separated from his two program counterparts, and flying what I decided to call the “One-Footed Chinese Gate of Doooooooom” around the land, apparently at random. He meets up with a bit, which is kinda cute, but totally pointless.
Yes. No. Yes. Yes. No.
Kinda like a woman, but not as good a filling out that jumpsuit.
His pals, meanwhile have visited a wise pancake pile with the token crotchety but lovable old man head. He provides Tron a conduit to talk to his “user” (WARE! psuedo-religious allegory!! RUN!) who thereafter tells him exactly what he needs to do to save the world. (Ah! The allegory crumbles! No religion ever functioned by issuing clear and precise instructions!) Which basically amounts to thwarting the Over-Villain MCP and kicking the brains out of the Sub-Villain Sark while he’s at it.
Which he does. Basically, with a frisbee.
End Of Line.
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