Fun n’ Games

when i tell people what i am doing this weekend they generally say something like:

“ooh, sorry.” or “that’s kind of a drag.”

but they could not be more wronger.

what i’m doing this weekend is going up to my cousin’s property and camping with my extended family. this, is excellent times. we all really enjoy one another, and the activities usually include some or all of the following:

  • drinking. lots. part of why we camp.
  • laughing. also lots.
  • fires. tall ones.
  • copious amounts of amazing delicious foods.
  • horsey rides.
  • shooting.
  • rambling walks through the national forest located up the road.
  • fever pitch political/religious/social/psychological debates
  • intoxicants of a more exotic variety.
  • singing.
  • mountain climbing.
  • feats of strength.

oh, these times, they will be good.

i must say, spring was singularly uninspiring in the sense of having much going on. so far, summer has been making up for this in spades. awesome things i have going on this weekend:

  • acquisition of domain name, blog improvement plans, & shoe-admiration with Lyza
  • birthday celebration for friend Darrin including (but not limited to) brewfest, dinner, karaoke, strippers…
  • triathalon (mini, yes, but still)
  • more brewfest w/ different friends. don’t want to deprive anyone of the opportunity to see me drunk after all, spectacle that it is. besides, i heart beer.
  • golf with daddy. as long as he doesn’t spend the whole time cursing at me for wrecking his game, this should be enjoyable.
  • shopping for bridesmaid dress with friend Danielle, other girlyness likely to ensue

ocean viewing weekend component missing, as well as smooching, but apart from that, all elements of amazing weekend are in place. can’t wait to take 952 pictures of shenanigans so as to properly recall said shenanigans later free from alcohol haze.


oh, lordy sometimes you get a good one.

in honor of the impending departure of the aforementioned Leslie, we had a grand campout over the weekend. we arrived midday on saturday to a glorious sunshine day with panoramic views of Mt’s Adams and Hood. keg was tapped, guitars and harmonicas in tune, frisbee aloft. it was excellent.

but as can happen when i start drinking in the middle of the day, come 7pm i was a wee bit toasted. and so, when i climbed into my passenger seat to reach across for my camera, i fell. and hit my face on the seatbelt reciever. fuckow. i managed to give myself a wee bit of a shiner. also bruised the inside of my palm playing so much frisbee.

watched Dune in the wee hours of the morning and annoyed the shit out of everyone reciting every 3rd line out of the film.

lovely Feyd…

met and was subsequently licked by a steer. i guess i’m salty.

yesterday. ended up at the strip club, cause nothing says “It’s the Lord’s day!” like naked bitches and cheap meat! and… after long searching… i found her: my strippl-ganger. two people pointed at her and were like “Hey, she looks just like YOU!” and she did. so i sat up at the rack watched her to pole tricks and touch my boobs. the boys around the rail seemed appreciative. good times.

lyza and i have a book disease. i am shocked and sort of shamed to admit; she has it worse than i do. i have never known anyone else in my entire life who read more than me. it’s nice to have a hero…

she’s got me reeled into a website called librarything where you can catalog your books, rate them, write reviews, and basically wallow in all things booky til you are smeary with literature all over the place. it’s pretty much totally awesome.

as a result i’ve started writing reviews, posting them here on my blog, and joined an “Early Reviewers” group in the hope of being sent books to read and review… well, early. a group of these folks have started a group which poses a book review/blog question every Tuesday. and so,

this week’s offering:

What’s the most popular book in your library? Have you read it? What did you think? How many users have it? What’s the most popular book you don’t have? How does a book’s popularity figure into your decisions about what to read?

Sorcerers Stone, natch. i was a relative latecomer to the harry potter franchise. i actually read Chamber of Secrets first and then backtracked. i was in an airport, desperate times…  i did enjoy the book, all things considered. i am a great fan of the middle reader genre, and this particular offering left me impressed with Rowling’s imaginative gifts and ability to create a compelling alternate reality while managing a fairly complex superstructure of characters and events. 32,500 people have it in their library.

the most popular book i don’t ‘have is The DaVinci Code. it’s not so much the sort of virulent popularity the book has enjoyed (although i do find that aversive: part of the reason i avoided HP was the ridiculous line-around-the-block mania) but also the pseudo-scholarly demi-theolgical bent the novel takes. as a person who is actually pretty profoundly interested in religious history i find the whole premise of the story vile.

and this is not to say that i never read popular books; i do. i just find a particular brand of Banes-and-Noble-i-feel-intellectually-superior-for-having-read-four-books-all-year-all-of-which-Oprah-told-me-to mentality offensive and off-putting.

as an aside, there a whole lot of dashes in this post. far more than is customary.

i knew i’d think of more…

From True Romance: “Fuckin’ condecending me. I’ll fuckin kill you” & “Okey Dokey Doggy Daddy”

i loved this movie. cast littered with awesomness. to name just a few; gary oldman as a half blind drug dealer sporting the nastiest dreads and grill i have EVER seen,  brad pitt as the degenerate pothead and a super scary james gandolfini getting beaten to death with the back of a toilet. not to mention val kilmer as elvis. genius. this movie was almost like a new awesome phrase generator! there were a ton of snappy lines and comebacks peppered throughout the film. these are the two i find myself saying most regularly…

from Animaniacs “Okay, I love you, buh-bye!”

hideously obnoxious blonde toddler child used to chrip this compulsively. whenever someone is especially annoying i like to say this with as much sarcasm as i can muster, which as it turns out, it a lot.

from Say Anything “Bitches, man.”

maybe it was being raised by a misogynist, but this just sums it up sometimes. and sometimes, i am talking about myself.

that’s all for now…

i have been noticing lately that i have a strange reflexive reaction to say, like a litany, certain phrases that i’ve picked up over the course of my life.

they’re embedded in my consciousness. there are a bunch of em. they are lines from movies, commercials, things my friends or lovers have said to me, generally the verbal detritus of life. and they slip past my lips with virtually no active effort or awareness.

par example:

from The End of the World: “but i am le tired”

i say this all the damn time. most net savvy people get it and snicker. my child, on the other hand, just assumes this is how one announces one is done in. when she’s ready to crash, she is always “le tired.” ha.

from Natural Born Killers: “holy shitfire Leroy!”

this is an all purpose expletive. this one comes into play when i am feeling particularly incredulous. i find it comes in handy in an array of situations.

from my former spouse “fuckow my cigarettes”

this one may make less sense, overall. basically, whenever anything went wrong, my ex would say “fuckow my cigarettes.” and for some reason this seemed to sum things up pretty succinctly in most cases. i generally adapt the phrase for more specific purposes; “fuckow my tattoo,” or “fuckow my uterus,” occasionally “fuckow the black toenail of doom”

from The Amazing Cosmic Awareness of Duffy Moon “you can do it Duffy Moon!!”

when i was in middle school we were forced to watch this bizarre after-school special style commentary on self-esteem. our hero Duffy Moon is confronted with no end of difficulty in his daily life, and he suffers the concomitant self-doubt. every time he begins to question himself a chorus of high-pitched celestial voices chime in and say: “you can do it Duffy Moon!” and he is thus reassured. so, more than a decade later, i relentlessly hear this same chorus of voices whenever self-doubt rears its head. but knowing Duffy Moon can do it doesn’t really tend to make me feel better about myself, somehow…

from Super Troopers: “(holy) mother-of-god”

ok, to be fair, i kinda got this from my friend steph, who said it way before, but as i suspect people may be more culturally aware of super troopers than of, well, steph, i’ll give them the credit. as a fairly irreligious person it always seems to stun people when they hear this one come out. however, as a person who customarily curses like a drunken belligerent sailor with an angry rash, i find sometimes it behooves me to express my consternation/anger/shock/pain/etc in some way that is unlikely to cause mothers to cast foul glances in my direction. the “holy” is optional, when added emphasis seems appropriate. it often does.

i know for a certainty there are more of these rattling around in my head, but i can’t bring any more to mind at this moment. this one is likely to turn into a series… as they come up, i’ll be adding them to the roster.

and you? what’s snuck into your vernacular?

turns out, i’ll be well fixed for shampoo.

i think this is weird.

i’m not especially fussy about my hair. i kinda hate it actually. by which i mean to say, we have a very adversarial relationship. it wants to curl, though i wish it was straight. it grows where i do not want it to and will not grow where i do want it to. it’s not really the color i’d like it to be… blah blah blah.

that being said, i seem vaguely obsessed with the acquisition of products to pamper, train, or otherwise interact with said adversary. i cleaned out under my sink recently and came up with no less than 18 different kinds of shampoo. not just additional bottles, no. because whenever i am in the store, and i see shampoo, i think to myself “huh, i could use some of that…”

so, i figure, everybody has something they hoard. and i’m not talking about a collection. or something, like, useful or worthwhile in its own right. instead i mean some grooming product, cleaning supply, household item that no matter how much you already have, how many varieties already have tried, you cannot resist the chance to try again, to have a little more.

maybe between the lot of us we can avoid the drugstore for the next decade or so….

took hodie to see this one on saturday and really enjoyed it.

i am a fan of jack black, so this definitely must be considered in that context. and this film is a very typically “Black” comedy. lots of fat jokes, goof humor, and general silliness.

the opening sequence has a sumptuous stylized look that i really liked; very asian chic al-la samurai jack. charming, funny, fast-paced narration from jack lead to giggles galore.

once the dream-sequence opening is over, we’re back to the typical post-pixar CGI with which some people are so enamored. while i understand the appeal, i’m pretty much over it. anymore i’d just as soon see an honest-to-god cartoon in the more traditional sense. that being said, this film contained some of the loveliest imagery i have seen in recent memory. atmospheric shots were rich with detail and color. landscapes shone with light and shadow. shots of the skies and horizons were especially gorgeous. it was almost incongruous to be giggling and awestruck by beauty at in the same breath.

voices by dutin hoffman, angelina jolie, david cross (woot!), and jackie chan add an amusing component of “where the hell do i know that voice from?” to the film experience.

worthwhile and enjoyable, definitely. i do tend to set the bar a little lower for kids movies, but i still think i’d recommend this one to anyone with a fondness for silliness and an appreciation for rich imagery.

went with friends lyza, david, and brett to the Armin VanBuuren show last night at the Roseland. i haven’t been to a dance show since seeing John Digweed @ the crystal back in 2002? woah.

danced the whole set. was bathed in other people’s sweat and excitement. overcame my usual crowd terror to follow lyza right up to the edge of the stage. was struck by the contrast in this show vs the multitude of other shows i’ve been to in recent memory…

crowd, though sweaty, smelled good and this is crucial. i was far less anxious being surrounded on all sides by people who didnt smell in a way that distressed me. people were generally polite and trying to take care of each other. stage hands tossed water out to the crowd and generally seemed to be trying to make sure everyone was feeling included. dj looked HAPPY. like he was genuinely enjoying himself instead of the faux-torment put upon by some musicians attempting to convey the seriousness of their art by dint of a glower.

there was jumping. there was smiling. there were various stages of undress. it was good times.

if i stopped vastly overestimating my fitness level and expecting to keep up with that boy i like.

he is much fitter than i am. this may not always be the case, but it is most certainly true at the moment.

i mention that my bike is back from being looked over by my bike-fanatic friend joe. joe says my bike is in great shape, and ready for action. t.b.i.l. says, i could go for a bike ride, let’s go together! it seems dog mountain taught me nothing.

as an awesome way to start things off, i get about 1/2 block from his house and my chain jams up. thanks joe. once that was rectified we took off into the admittedly pastoral landscape of hillsboro. green rolling hills, relatively little traffic, sunny beautiful day. i have 4 bottle cages on my bike frame. did i remember to put even one bottle of water in them? of course not. because what i am envisioning is a leisurely weekend pedal through the countryside. oh, ha.

turns out this is a 18 mile loop. with hill. many of them substantial. like, woah. plus, since i hadn’t actually been on my bike in over a year, i forgot how to ride it with any intelligence. like, making sure the wheel was firmly reattached with the screw and lever. like remembering to slip the brake pin back into the the caliper so that something would actually happen when i squeezed the brake lever. like remembering that i have 18 gears on this bike, not only 12 and that flipping the RIGHT lever all the way forward means that’s as HIGH as it goes, not as low. i actually struggled up 2 ginormous hills (pausing to barf in the midst of one) in 6th gear before t.b.i.l. says: “you realize your back gear is all the way up, right?”

ha. well. no.

the rest of the ride went much more smoothly. less hills overall, but also because i figured out which gear i should actually be in and how to get there again. awesome.

and so, i’m happy to report i made it back alive and unscathed, apart from the wide stripe of sunburn on that place where my t-shirt doesn’t meet my pants. ow.


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